Sometimes I drive down the street and look at someone in their car, or walking down the street or standing in line inside of a store and wonder what their life might be like. The only life I really truly know is my own. I have some pretty good ideas about the lives of people I know on a personal level, but I really only know my OWN life.
The other day I was sitting in the drive-thru at Starbucks (it was an ETERNITY..they didn't seem motivated..). At one point I was sitting in a position that I could see inside of the store. So, the picture goes something like this >me inside of my car>glass window of my car> glass window of starbucks> woman sitting in a booth on her computer. I was looking at her and thinking about what her life might be like. I was wondering how she sees herself everyday when she looks in the mirror, I was wondering what she does and doesn't like about herself, I was wondering what her family life was like, I was wondering what made her decide she liked THOSE glasses that she had bought out of all the ones she must have tried on, I wondered what sorts of clothes she had in her closet, I wondered who she was going to be seeing that day ... that I would never ever know or meet, I was wondering what holidays she celebrated, and how she celebrated them (she looked to be of another culture), I was wondering who her best friend is (I told you it was a REALLY slow moving line at Starbucks..LOL). It's true, in the brief amount of time I was sitting there I really did think about all of those things.
Then, the next day I went to my massage appointment (since I've become a runner I have to get regular massages to keep my muscles in an injury free state). I started talking about this with my massage girl. She told me that she often thinks about the same things. Then she told me that in her line of work, she often has people open up to her about their lives....and it made her realize this: "you never know what someone else is going through in their life".
She told me of a story where this lady came to get a massage and when she first got there she was VERY rude. My massage therapist blew it off (that's not easy to do!). She just treated her as if she had not been rude to her. Once she got in the room and she started the massage on this lady, it didn't take long for her to learn that this lady's husband had been diagnosed with cancer. They had come here to Houston for cancer treatment, and the lady was obviously all alone here. Not only was she dealing with the poor health of her husband, she was here all alone. No friend to hug her, no family to understand....and no one to help bear the load of her situation.
It reminded me of when I moved here to Houston and didn't know a soul. I moved here after getting married, to be with my husband. I left every friend I'd ever had or known, I left my family, and I was here in a place where no one knew me, or even knew I existed. Had you seen me at Wal-mart, or in my car, you never would have known that I was lonely and had just left my "whole life" as I knew it behind. And what was worse, there was no reason that anyone SHOULD know. Sure I could have stood in the middle of Target and yelled at the top of my lungs for people to know that I was now here in Houston and needed/wanted friends...but somehow I don't think that would have been productive. I was just one more person in huge sea of people.
I've recently learned of several people who have lost their battles with cancer. These are not just any people...these are people who are GOOD people. People who have families that needed them, young children, dearly loved by SO many others, people who had a tremendous faith in God even during their darkest days, and people who by all logic should have never died. But they did....and I think about their lives. I think about how each day during their battle they went through things I'd hope to never have to go through. I think about how their families prayed for miracles. I think about how people now have empty places in their hearts where those people used to be.
Sometimes life just doesn't make sense. Sometimes we will never know the answer to "Why" about a lot of things about life. So, all we can do is continue to live EVERY day to the fullest. Live every day like its our last. I know it sounds cliche, but really think about it! Live like you're dying, as the song says. So easy to say, yet sometimes so hard to do.
Regardless of your religious beliefs, regardless of which life mottos you subscribe to, regardless of the experiences you've been through, think, just think of how precious life really is. Think about the hole someone would leave in your life if they were no longer there. I have to believe you'd start to look at them, and life, differently. I bet there are a lot of things that you'd miss about them, and you'd realize how much you really love about them, even when they hurt you or make you mad. Some how I have to believe that you'd start to be more thankful for the things you like about them, and not focus so much on the things that you don't. Someone may have a lot of growing to do in their life. They just need someone like you to love them through their growing pains. Besides, aren't there things about you that people overlook long enough to LOVE you?
When I attended the memorial service of my grandfather who passed away in July, I was reminded that regardless of all the mistakes someone has made in their life, no matter how many times they got it wrong, no matter how many things they could have or should have done better in their life...in the end it didn't really matter. His obituary was not listing of all the things he could have done better, or all of the things he should have known better. All that mattered was that we had lost someone who we loved despite all of his short comings. We were all hurting that he was no longer there to be part of our family. And all we were thinking about in that moment were all of the things that we LOVED and MISSED about him....just think about it.....
**Here are some of the links to the stories of the people I talked about earlier who have recently lost their lives**
http://community.imawitness.com/_God-show-me-youre-trustworthy/video/711090/54126.html
http://bandssullivan.blogspot.com/
My Grandpa:
(click to see larger image)
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